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Blog, Impact Factor

When Life Gets In the Way

A few weeks have passed since I’ve posted. In those few weeks my life has been in a state of mild to moderate upheaval (yes, those are scientifically measured qualifiers).

During that time I’ve also been beating myself up for my lack of writing on the blog and for not being present on the social media fronts I love so much (Twitter and Google+ to be exact).

And the more I beat myself up, the less motivated I’ve been to do anything about it.

This morning I woke up and decided to give myself permission to never write another blog post for this site again.

You know what happened then? I walked straight to my computer and began writing this to you. Funny how that works.

See, there are always going to be times when life will get in the way. There are times when we will not have the creative space to produce what we’d like. There are times when all we’ll want to do is crawl into a corner and sleep until we can’t sleep anymore.

But if we do not treat ourselves with compassion during these times, if we don’t give ourselves permission to step back and take a break, a seemingly temporary interruption can quickly turn into giving up on ourselves completely.

So here’s what I have to say to myself…and to you:

No matter what life is giving you right now, don’t give up.

No matter what hardships or challenges you are facing, don’t give up.

No matter how much you feel like it, don’t give up.

No matter how many people tell you that you can’t do it, don’t give up.

Never, ever give up on yourself.

In the end you’re all you got, baby. And I love you.

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Just saw a link to your blog from Crunchy Betty and I can't say how glad I am for finding it! Some days I wonder why I can't be like the other people in my life...you know the ones who work 9-5 and think I don't work at all being home with my kids. Even if I wasn't home with my kids I am just not cut out for a 9-5 job and according to them and my husband there is something wrong with me. The fact that I sometimes need to just go to bed for a while to feel better is looked at as something is wrong with me. I did the 9-5 thing and hated it! I like to be home and I  have times where I like to get out. Why can't I be "normal"? Anyway, just needed to get that out hoping someone here would get it. I also was drawn to your post about forgiving your childhood rapist. Still working on that one and for me its so damn hard when the person lives close and everyone thinks they are such a great person...if they only knew!! Plus my mother, who was the one who should have protected me, thinks he walks on water! Guess I have some self-work to do on this one. Thanks for letting me vent :)

Jen, if no one's told you yet today...there is NOTHING wrong with you! You are perfect, whole and complete in this moment right now. Other people lay their issues on us because it's easier than dealing with those issues themselves. We're all guilty of that sometimes. Sounds like you have a very, very tough situation there with regards to your abuser. If there's anything I can do, or if you ever just want to talk...hit me up in emails any time: jennyb (at) upyourimpactfactor.com   Love and Light to you.

This makes alot of since, I shall follow your teaching cousion Jenny :)

It's SO nice to see you here, my long lost and dearly loved cousin :)

My sistah friend... Amen. Love up on ourselves...We gotta. Jenny is the precious treasure behind Up Your Impact Factor. Thank you for modeling this self care for us. Talk soon.

Love, love, love!  This is 100% true and you are so good at getting to the heart of what's true.  Love you too Jenny!

Jenny, sending you virtual hugs and an effing ton of good vibes with hopes for a MUCH smoother ride real soon! - oh, and also sending 14 virtual baskets full of gratitude!  I could NOT have read this at a better time - I was on the precipice of a cliff called Giving UP. And now I won't give up -- you wrote the perfect reminder for all of us. Thank you! 

Don't you dare give up, sister. I'll come gitcha :D

Thanks Jenny! It's been a tough year full of challenging circumstances, and having just returned from a vacation that was less than ideal in terms of rejuvenating power, I've been overwhelmed with stepping back into the stream of work and business building.  Your post was the ideal thing to come back to.I'm giving myself permission to give up, in the hopes that by being compassionate with myself and taking a real break, I'll regain my missing mojo!

That warms my cockles (even though I don't know wtf cockles are). Thank you Anne, and I'm sending you tons of mojo-rejuvenating vibes.

Hang in there Jenny. This is one of the benefits of solopreneurship - you decide.  And here's a bright side no need to fill out masses of forms in triplicate for the HR dept before you need time off to deal with life!

LOL great point, Nan. I've been there filling out those triplicate forms...this beats it by a f'n mile :D

Sorry double post

Thank you for the post! :-) Another one for whom it came at just-the-right-time. Hope things are going better for you now! :-)

With people like you in my life, things can never be too bad Birdy. 

wow. "This morning I woke up and decided to give myself permission to never write another blog post for this site again.You know what happened then? I walked straight to my computer and began writing this to you. Funny how that works." it really hit home for me. Giving myself permission to not do things that I feel guilty I don't *want* to do is powerful stuff.

Thanks Andy! It was an eye-opening reminder for me, no doubt.

I just wanted to say thank you. This came at the exact right time - clearly for you, and for me. Please give yourself permission not to write more often. :)

That makes me very happy, Leslie. And the next time I say f-all to writing I'll think of you and smile.

Yay, Jenny! I don't have any drama going on but I've been so tired I could barely drag myself out of bed, so I gave myself a sabbatical to sleep as much as I want, read and generally 'veg'. Just what I needed. Welcome back, sweetness. :)

I'm glad to hear you're taking care of you, too! Thanks so much LaVonne.

You are so not alone! Lovely to see you peeking back out......

I actually love the drama...life is not smooth...and the downs always come just before the ups :))) loved the post...

It's funny that you say this, because I was JUST thinking an hour ago that my life is relatively drama-free 90% of the time, and then three or so times a year, life just goes, "Hey. You haven't had any drama lately. HERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH AT ONCE!" Here's to drama in moderation!

Thank you, Jen. And I'm totally not surprised by your revelation :) What a great way to think of it all!

Wow Jenny, talk about perfect timing. I'm bouncing between Atlanta and Montgomery, where I'm helping care for and make decisions about my terminally ill Mom (metastasized lung cancer). At the same time I'm getting my 15 year old ready for high school, trying to be a good wife/partner, following a strict health/nutrition program, and oh yeah, running my business. Exhausted? Hell yes. Feeling sorry for myself? Yep, guilty. Wanting to crawl under the covers for a few days (weeks) and just disappear? Abso-freaking-lutely. And I was well on my way to doing just that when I checked email on my iPhone from bed (dammit!) and there was the one from you with the link to this post. And, hell's bells, now I guess I'll go start some laundry and turn my computer on for the first time today. After I take a walk with my family. Thank you for saving me from myself tonight... :-)

Way to go, Dana!! While I can't imagine what you're going through right now, your spirit is an inspiration. Thank YOU for not giving up, and remember you're not alone. 

Oh, I needed this today... Both today & yesterday I've done some writing and then based on my writing have taken time to nap, paint, and read the rest of a great book (all during my 'work' time... which is so limited right now). I was beating up on myself for taking these breaks rather than working (have a site re-design in the works for myself, have a site to build for a great business, have new copy to write, a new logo to design, several products that I need to put together) and yet I'm finally beginning to feel like the colors coming back after taking these two days.... Tomorrow is also out as I get to meet Skaja for lunch & then get the rest of my hair chopped (chopped!) off. SO, this was really perfect timing for me to read this.... It'll all be ok after all.... Glad you're back sweets :-)

Ooh I can't wait to see the new do...AND the new site!!

I'm on day 9 of a 10 day family visit (parents, sis, her guy and their 3 kids) and I'm on the verge of hysteria! Well, not quite, but there WAS an awful lot of family drama to contend with!  Like keeps lifeing, there are always unexpected circumstances and giving up is not an option. Just breathe. Or as Dori (from Finding Nemo) said, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." 

ahhhhh....now Dori will be in my head all day. I do love that scene though and hear her song often.  WTG on surviving that visit, sister! You're a better woman than I :)

Well, I did it. The family just left this morning and I now need a vacation! It's all a learning op, as once again I'm reminded that it doesn't work to put my self care on hold while I care for others. It. Doesn't. Work. EVER!  Oh how the Universe loves to keep giving me this lesson! 

Such a great reminder that we all need at one time or another. Very timely for me too. Thank you.

Thanks gorgeous! Love you too xoxoxo

This is awesome! I have had a litany of crazy drama happen in my family over the last few weeks and its been really hard to keep connected and moving forward with my goals. This post feels really comforting and supportive to me right now.

I hope the drama quiets down for you soon, Tina. My best advice? Take the time and space you need to protect your sanity and treat yourself with the same compassion as you would others in the same situation. And DON'T GIVE UP! We need you :) xoxoxo

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  1. [...] I was avoiding getting down to work, I read Jenny Bones When Life Gets in The Way and Glen Stansbury Feeling Scattered? You might be feeling pressure to publish. Ahh. Blessed [...]

  2. [...] along came Jenny Bones and her simple post When Life Gets in The Way. By giving me permission to never write another blog post again, all of a sudden the creative damn [...]

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