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How to Say Hello (and Goodbye) to Your List

206/365 - Faceless Bunny and KittyList building is the cornerstone of any healthy online business. That’s not to say that you can’t have a thriving biz with a small list, you can, but it’s all in how you treat your subscribers that can make or break you.

Saying Hello

I learned this practice from Chris Guillebeau and Henri Juntilla, both of whom sent a personal greeting out when I subscribed to their list. They simply forwarded their notification of my subscription along with a quick “thank you.”

This small act had a profound impact on how I felt about both of these bloggers. As a result, I followed them more closely, shared their content more frequently and knew that I was always welcome to reach out and connect with them if I so desired.

So I started doing it, too. Now, I’ll admit, I have not succeeded in sending every single person who’s subscribed a note (if you’re reading this and I didn’t, I’m very sorry and it’s nothing personal). Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes it’s a case of inbox overwhelm. But as often as I can, for almost two years now, I make this my regular practice.

The connections and conversations that have come from doing this one small thing are amazing. Here’s the way I look at it, if you’re interested enough in what I have to say that you’ll sign up for yet another mailing list, I owe you a huge thanks. I also know that you’re very likely one of my perfect people which means we’re on the same wavelength and I’d like to get to know you better. It’s all win.

Saying Goodbye

On the other hand, what do we do when someone unsubscribes? It feels awful, I know. But it’s just the nature of things. Every single time I email anything out to my list, I get at least one unsubscribe (usually more).

It’s easy to go into panic mode, wondering what you did wrong and wishing you’d chose that other subject line you were considering. But it’s nothing you did, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. This is just your list rejuvenating itself, keeping itself fresh and full of only the most perfect people for your message.

Unlike signing up for your list, unsubscribing from it is not personal. So don’t treat it like it is.

You know how it goes, you find a great site, sign up for the list all excited, then forget who they are six months from now and remove yourself from the mailings. This is how it is for you…and this is how it is for them, too. So be cool.

Don’t get upset. Don’t email stalk them asking them why WHY have they left you. Say goodbye gracefully, and silently.

Treat your list like it’s your friend. Say ‘hi’ often, but not too often. Be willing to give and to receive. Strive for balance and don’t be afraid to ask them what they want from you.  Greet them with open arms when they show up, and wish them well when they depart.

While we’re on the subject, why not sign up for my list? It’s that huge yellow box right down below. Come join the partay.


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Check out more great posts on this topic today over at Word Carnivals

Photo by Helga Weber

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bombchelle 6 pts

It took me FOREVER to stop obsessing over every single unsubscribe but I got there eventually. What really helped was turning off the notifications of it...now I have to go actively looking to see when people unsubscribe, which works a lot better for me ;) I love the personal hello tip and I should start doing that - very impressed that Chris G managed to keep doing it up to 10k subscribers! 

michellechurch 7 pts

I absolutely love the personal tip of Saying Hello...I have not received that from anyone yet, but will definitely utilize that for myself and my clients (those I have access to their emails).  I love those feel good kind of actions and it really is lighting up so other ideas I have...thanks for the inspiration!

My latest conversation: RSS - Really Shares Stuff | Virtually Distinguished

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 michellechurch Thank you, Michelle! I think you'll really have fun with it once you start ;)

WTFMarketing 54 pts

Writing a personal note is such a great idea, but I worry sometimes that it's just too many emails they'd get from me, especially with a double-opt-in. That's like...4 emails within 5 minutes, which is too much.

 

Maybe a week later, that would be a great time to send something out, a touch-point or reference or a few questions. Or maybe even just a day... 

 

Great things to think about, thanks! :-D

evan austin 5 pts

GREAT point about the double-opt in ...I'd give it a day or one week...no longer. Of course, to get on track and test this out, I just emailed personal welcomes and thank-yous to everyone who's subscribed since January. That's right...all 21 of 'em! :) @ImNickArmstrong

WTFMarketing 54 pts

 evan austin  I've been thinking about that! I may add that to my July to-do-list for all the new subscribers this year.

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 ImNickArmstrong I'm not sure about that...I've received personal thank you's within minutes of signing up and it always made me smile. Tons of autoresponders, yuck, but a quick and personal note is always welcome in my inbox.

Creative Katrina 5 pts

Definitely agree about the personal connection part of the list building process, for as long as it's possible. In a slew of emails, it's nice just to get something that is heartfelt and simple, not spam, not a work request or email number 10 in a string of group-related responses. Not sure if having an VA or intern in the long-run could help with keeping things personal, but I'll find out more when I experiment with an actual list. When it's time for goodbye, it's time. I think people get attached to the time and effort it took to add to the person to the list more than the person themselves. It's important to focus on minimizing the reasons behind that emotional attachment rather than getting wrapped up in the "feeling rejected" part.

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 Creative Katrina  Yes! I love the idea of 'minimizing the reasons behind that emotional attachment" because it really is very rarely personal. Thanks Katrina!

evan austin 5 pts

Great philosophy and strategies, Jenny! Since my list is teensy, it's a great time for me to implement a personalized practice like this without being overwhelmed (so that when the list is bigger it'll be a second-nature thing to do!). I like the "Treat your list like it’s your friend" paragraph best.

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 evan austin Thanks Evan!

clarestweets 9 pts

Hi  Jenny:  I do that too and I've gotten a couple of replies as well. I also check back with my new subscribers only after two weeks and again after four weeks to continue the conversation at a different level from my regular emails. Great stuff and a great inspirational personal story. Looking forward to your autobiography.  Clare  

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 clarestweets I think it's a great idea to check back in. I might stealz that idea, Clare :)

SHurleyHall 16 pts

Saying a personal hello to the people on your list is the best tip I've had so far, Jenny - and so easy to implement. I've had a couple of personal welcomes that turned into great online relationships.

NicoleFende 21 pts

 SHurleyHall Just don't offer them coffee...

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 NicoleFende  SHurleyHall LOL! How about chai?

NicoleFende 21 pts

I love the idea of a personal welcome to new subscribers.  I've got to figure out a way to make that my own.

 

In regards to the unsubscribes, it's always hard.  Intellectually I know they need to go, but I need to learn to celebrate them!

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 NicoleFende Yes! Celebrate their departure. :)

Annie Sisk 11 pts

It's hard to do, but I try to look at every unsub as someone recognizing they're NOT in my "ideal client" circle, and don't want to take up my time/space anymore. I try to generate gratitude feelings for those folks. (I said it's hard! Especially when they unsub after a message that includes a sales link. I want to ask them "what, exactly, did you expect here? How did I not meet those expectations?" I want to. But I don't. Because they've already made their desire to not have Annie in their inbox quite well known, LOL.) 

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 Annie Sisk It is difficult, but it helps me to say (out loud) to myself "Oh good." when I see an unsubscribe...even if I don't totally believe it at first ;)

CarolLynnRivera 31 pts

Good stuff, Jenny! I like the idea of your list "rejuvenating" itself. Sounds so much prettier and more productive than unsubscribing. I have to admit I'm one of those flash-unsubscribers. Just this past week I signed up for someone's list because I thought their blog was fantastic and the next day I got their email and I thought... who the f*** is this??? I caught myself about half a second before unsubscribing and remembered oh yeah, it's that guy I really liked! So it's definitely not personal and sometimes even accidental. Better to focus on the people who do want to hang out.

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 CarolLynnRivera Right? It really isn't personal and we've all done it. I've unsubscribed from things I really enjoy just because my inbox was getting unmanageable. We can't know why they've gone, we can only wish them well.

tsilvestre 36 pts

Of course, I want to "get spiced." Sign me up. Can't wait to see what you do "behind the scenes," Jenny. (FYI - Chris G. isn't sending personal thank yous anymore...at least I never got one...which doesn't make me love him any less, but goes to show that small lists have their benefits! Eventually -- if you're lucky -- you'll be too busy for the personal touch, too. Then what'll we do?)

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 tsilvestre Yes! I am looking forward to having that problem...he says he stopped after 10k subscribers. Doh!

suekearney 5 pts

Jenny, what a great idea! I'm going to start sending personal thank you's to every new subscriber.

 

And thanks, of course, for the gentle reminder that obsessing about the unsubscribes is a huge waste of my time and energy. A silent loving goodbye, and that's it...!

 

Love and light,

Sue

My latest conversation: Gratitude challenge week 25...

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 suekearney I think you're really going to enjoy the increased connections, Sue. Lemme know what your experience is with it.

suekearney 5 pts

 JennyBBones I just sent 21 welcome emails from my personal account. Sending love out, let's see what comes back...

 

Thanks for inspiring me (as usual, yo!).

 

Sue

My latest conversation: Gratitude challenge week 25...

suekearney 5 pts

 JennyBBones Oops that's 39 (forgot one of my optin lists!!) Woohoo!

My latest conversation: Gratitude challenge week 25...

Sandi Amorim 641 pts

As someone who's been at this partay for quite some time I have to say I love this post. It's so easy to have the list be about the numbers, but it's that perspective that makes me cringe. It's also easy to forget that the list is made up of human beings, which is truly the most amazing gift ever! That they take the time to read and connect is something to appreciate. 

 

I've gotten away from the habit of emailing new subscribers. Seems like now's a good time to resurrect this habit and connect to that appreciation! 

My latest conversation: Regrets of the Dying (and other possibilities for life)

JennyBBones 63 pts moderator

 Sandi Amorim Oh cool! I'm going to go unsubscribe from your list, then sign back up just so I can be the first (hopefully). :D

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