Blog, Power of Communication

Hmmm, I’m swirling around “use this list” and “no update rule”…those things together do suggest that the person’s collecting names to sell stuff to people.  It’s probably not intentional, but unfortunately it doesn’t set well.  I can see where you’re coming from in the knee-jerk response. It bothered you and you reacted…maybe you could have said it differently, but I think it’s a moment to learn from for the sender too…to go ahead and connect with subscribers and understand that subscribers *want* to connect.  I wonder if s/he realized that… 

Yes, while I’m not proud of my reaction, this is one marketing lesson I’m happy to not have to learn the ‘hard way’ 

Amen Sister. Nobody likes to be a number, a resource (for pete’s sake), a file, or a list. 

Maybe you’re not proud of your reaction, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes we need the unvarnished truth before we get the point. I bet you made yours.

I don’t think being genuine is ever regrettable. The pain it may cause is an opportunity for the receiver.

Always.

I’m so glad you said this.  I really dislike it when people refer to me as “my reader” or “my tweep” or the like.  I don’t belong to them, I’m not an object so why are they saying that? 

For what it’s worth, I don’t think your reaction was unprofessional at all. You just gave them some very valuable free advice. Hopefully they took it that way.

Being regarded as a reader or follower does not upset me.  Being only regarded as a  $dollar/pound sign which a list suggests might be better left unsaid.  Not sure about customer.  Partner better?  Customer sounds too much like being the recipient of “a product” when a relationship is being established.  A doctor does not refer to me as a customer, and I don’t think people seeking his services quite view themselves as his customers.

This is spot-on. Never remind people they’re part of a list. Always write as if you were writing to just one person. Personalization like adding first name variables and such don’t make it personal. Writing personally does.

Thank you! What a fantastic lesson and reminder.

Precisely! Although sometimes I like to pretend I’m a nurse…wait, that’s different…

Thank you, Peter. Very wise words.

Exactly and, although it’s never intentional, it can really put people off.

If they’re referring to me, it is probably fitting to call me their “patient” (they being *any* service provider

Really good point. There’s no cheat-code for making personal connections.

Thank you, Lindley!

My only confusion is why you wished you hadn’t unsubscribed? I mean come on, you nailed it and the person exposed themselves (albeit unconsciously) for what they are and what they think of their subscribers.

My only complaint is you didn’t name and shame

Thanks so much Naomi. I hope so too

Tim, I think I need to start hanging out with you more often. Thank you! 

And honestly, part of the reason (OK the entire reason) I wish I had not unsubscribed is for the very reason I was subscribed in the first place: it’s always a good idea to keep one’s ear to the ground. Whether it’s an example of what to do or what not to do, it’s all good info to have. 

Absolutely. And from a biz development perspective, your post speaks to the importance of always putting yourself in your customers’ shoes to consider how they experience you, your brand, your products every step of the way. Turning them into a faceless “list” or “reader” dehumanizes them, which is not only insulting but also prevents you from connecting with your fans/supporters/clients on a deeper level. A more engaged and direct connection is crucial in order to be able to identify their needs and wants so that you can in turn tailor your offering to provide the value they’re looking for. Excellent point to raise. Thanks!

It’s never been more important to grasp exactly what you just outlined, Annika. For so long, online marketing allowed a shroud of anonymity and impersonal attention. Social media and the quiet revolution it has brought with it has really become a Great Equalizer. Those who get it, prosper. 

You have a great conversation going on here! And I love @twitter-278745892:disqus comment about remembering to put yourself in your customer’s shoes. Because sometimes its rather easy to forget that while you might be writing to a mass list of people, and might want to lean towards a general catch all tone, each person is reading that email individually. And if they click on said email, they’re taking the time out out all the other emails they have to read yours. 

Like what @remarkablogger:disqus said: always write as if you’re writing to one person. 

That being said, I’ve talked with a lot of local business owners that freeze up and start to sound impersonal when faced with an email list, even though they’re totally friendly and intimate in person. So it’s a common problem. 

You are spot on and not unprofessional at all. Why not tell the person why you unsubscribed? But this brings up a really important topic near and dear to my heart. Creating an opt-in and auto-responder series is a big deal. Not everyone is ready to handle the level of communication required with having a list. Those who over promote affiliate offers and junk type messages are quickly removed and those who never send updates become invisible. It sounds like this person had good intentions to not spam her list, but then when she had something important to share, she blew it. Oh woe to us solopreneurs who don’t have strengths in every area of marketing.

I deliberately do not send messages to my mailing list unless I have something new to sell.

Here’s why:
My sign-up form specifically states that I will let them know when I have a new book out (every 3-4 months). I don’t feel that sending updates when I don’t have a new book is appropriate because of that.

I am active on Twitter and Facebook and answer every email a reader sends me (and since I’m a novelist I think I can call ‘em readers so I make contact with the ones who want contact in those ways. The ones who would just like to be told when there’s a new book? They’re on the mailing list. And I am not prepared to alienate them by sending updates about what I’m doing. I don’t believe they want that.

I do think, Jenny, that the person you’re talking about wasn’t using “the list” properly. I think I am, though. Thoughts?

I agree, it’s a common problem and one that’s too easy for anyone to make. I do want to stress that…this is a *very* easy mistake to make. It’s why I felt compelled to write about it…lesson here for us all. Thanks Laura!

Woe to us, indeed! There are just so many landmines to maneuver with email marketing. Seth Goldmine Godin is my guru in this area

It sounds like you are using your list very well. They know what they’re signing up for and you deliver as/when promised. 

You really nailed it, Heather: find out *exactly* what your peeps want and give it to them. 

It’s one of those “simple but never easy” thingies. Thanks!!

Great discussion – so here’s the question – how do you do this better… for someone in that situation (IE they have a list they haven’t been mailing for a while – maybe some of the folks on it are new, others have not heard from them in ages…)  and the primary desire to mail is because you have an offer you want to make to them (let’s assume that it’s something that it’s reasonable to think the people on the list would value…)

If what you wrote about is the “this is what I don’t want” side of the coin, what’s the “this is what I do want” side?

Good question! Sounds like another blog post is in order. In short, I would have simply adjusted my opening lines to reach out on a *much* more personal level. 

For example: “Helloooo! It’s been ages since I’ve emailed you and I hope this letter finds you well. I have some news that I’m thrilled to share with you (I know you’re gonna love it)…”

There’s no crime in sending out a sales letter that you honestly believe your people would value. There’s no crime even in having that be the first thing that goes out in months. The dodgy part comes from the way you make that oh-so-important personal connection. Once you lose that opportunity, it’s an uphill battle (at best) to make a sale.

That makes a great deal of sense to me – and I’ll look forward to your post

I generally say, “My people” or “my friends” when I talk about online interactions. The possessive is still there, but then, delineating boundaries is part of what keeps us from overwhelm, no? 

When I was a therapist, I would say, “my kids” and confuse people who didn’t know I was single with no children.  

Is it the dehumanizing aspect, or the possessive aspect which is disconcerting? 

I’ve tested this whole “personal email” vs “hello” thing loads, and I can’t think of a single time where the personal one hasn’t got a better reaction.

What I do now whenever I’m drafting an email to my peeps is to write it using my regular email client to one of my friends.  Then, instead of clicking “send”, I copy and paste it into Aweber.    

That seems to remove any temptation to talk to them as if I were addressing an inanimate object.

Ah! That’s an excellent approach to avoiding this easy-to-make mistake. Thanks Iain!

I feel ya on this 100%.  I also have similar issues with folks who use their Twitter accounts exclusively for marketing and don’t bother interacting or even responding to @replies.  Same goes for Facebook.

I suppose it’s a lesson to be learned the hard way sometimes, but treating your subscribers/followers like a person-less marketing machine is just not cool.