Darkest Before the Dawn

Jenny, I can't say I know how you feel, but I know how I've felt in my own dark spaces.  I remember thinking it would last forever, every time.  I also know the feeling of thinking I was so beyond this, till it strikes again.  I appreciate you sharing this and being whole and open. 

Jenny. Thank you for sharing for honestly and purely from your heart. Those are the voices that will resonate through the noise as we move into this amazing year of change and transformation. And you, by exposing the darkness, make way for the light. Much love to you. 

Hugs and positive thoughts being sent your way, Jenny.  If you find that the vitamin D helps you, you might want to check out The Mood Cure by Julia Ross, it has helped some people that I know. : )  You are an awesome woman and have been very inspirational to me and I am so glad that when I read your post, you said that you knew that there is nothing wrong with you, just the way you feel.  Here is to a great New Year for you, my dear, you deserve it. . .

I'm sending you a package filled with sun, laughter, smiles and a pair of fuzzy mittens.  You'll know the box by the big purple bow.

Jenny this is beautifully written and inviting to make peace with everything, even the darkness. So honest and open. It is why I love you. 

Tis the season for funk.  If it's going to get you, the holidays are the perfect time to tackle you... when your guard is down.  I flirted with the dark side, being somewhat emotional.  This was my first Christmas since losing my Dad in March, but I managed to to not fall into the abyss. That you've dragged yourself to your computer, and engaged your brain is a good sign! You are generating the necessary momentum to turn things around. You can do it kiddo!

Jenny, I too thought you were busy with the holidays. I am sorry, I wish I could wave a magic wand for those who are suffering from deep depression. I made a conscious decision this season to change my stinkin' thinkin' thoughts and fears. I decided I would have a season full of miracles, and I have. Big, small, some to do with me, some with friends or family members. I was tired of being afraid of how we would survive another crappy month of home sales, of trying to live on a quarter of the money we need. Just a decision, for me, every day, to know the miracles were already there and anticipating the excitement of discovering what they were. All sounds hokey, silly, or perhaps even a tad insensitive. I just couldn't face the thought of a holiday season feeling like crap. It worked for me, and is still working. I hope you are off the couch, dry eyed, with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. And one more simple thing I have found that works for me, smile... I find I cannot feel bad when I have a smile on my face. Sometimes I really have to force the smile, but in minutes I feel the warm feeling creeping in and the sad feelings and fear draining away. You rock Jenny... seriously. We are brightened by knowing you!

*hugs!* I thank Goodness and humanity for inventing the Vitamin D capsule! :-) :> For the first time in YEARS, I've been able to bear this weather with something like goodness. :> Even so, there are those moments, when I can feel the tickle and know that such things aren't as far away as one might like. :> *hugs!* again and if you ever need to talk and are in a place to do so, please feel free to find me. :-) (And when you're ready, I'd love to talk loverly amethyst with you. :-) I have a stone that's just been waiting for you to say 'yes' to it. :-) )

You are a brave lady.  Thanks for posting.

I. love. you. wholly.

Oh, Jenny - this is just one of the reasons I love you -- you are so real (so no-bullshit-honest)!! I'm sorry I didn't think to ask how you were -- I did notice you were AWOL, but pictured you super busy and having fun, fun, fun.  I know that dark beast myself, and love those lessons you shared -- they're so true (even though they sure don't FEEL true when the beast is wrapped around my reality).  Like Angel said above, "you've helped me in countless ways" - you are such a blessing in this world! I am sending blessings/vibes/prayers out to you and for you as you move into more of that strength and peace you mentioned. Many virtual hugs!!

Huge hugs here, Jenny.  I understand this SO much.  I had, probably, one of the worst Christmas' ever (lots of first-family drama) and, over the years, I have just let myself slide down into a big fat slumping heap of self loathing and pity.  BUT.  Like my grandma always said, "It's okay to fall down once in a while, just don't waller."  I end up picking myself up and keeping busy with joyful, happy things.  No. Actually that's a lie.  I end up on the sofa for a week watching forensic file television programs and checking and rechecking my locks at night.  That is, when I sleep. The truth is:  the slump really does pass, the days really do get lighter and brighter and, eventually, we get back up and find a way to make a fresh start. Blessings to you.  Blessings, love, light and peace, hugs and more love.

I so wish I could just wrap my arms around you and hug you!!! Depression is a demon I know well, and having also found myself in the place of thinking that I'm beyond it, or cured, or whatever.... I am still ever-vigilant of its cries. Even this very moment. You really *are* perfect and amazing, and talented, and creating change for yourself and others in the world. You've helped me in countless ways, and though I'm just one your work reaches through me out to others I then touch and help. Quite the legacy, my chicky. Sending you much love, and light... I'd be happy to set up a crystal grid for you if you like... just say the word <3